Evolution, Rinse, Repeat...

Yesterday I stopped in to see my dentist for a very minor and mostly cosmetic issue with my teeth. I've been going to him since was around 6 or so and so have my siblings. In his "older" age he sometimes gets my sister and me confused now always asking if I am a dietitian. Or if it's me that went to UCLA, or if it's me that is married....

No, I tell him, that's my sister, and he then he'll launch into my actual credentials and we go from there as he peers into my "boring mouth" rambling on about one of his own kids credentials.

Yesterday though, although most everything went routinely he asked me if I was the one who was married and I said no. And then he said "Oh... how old are you now?" And I answered. And he said "I mean, I don't mean to make you feel bad or anything..." And I said "oh, I don't it's fine. I'm dating." (as if I needed to somehow justify my singleness) and he said "Really? Great! What does he do?" And wow, I suddenly was going to add someone else's list of credentials to my dentist's Wanke "fact-file",,, and I said "well actually, he's a Pastor..."

And I kid you not, my dentist backed up away from my mouth tools in hand and said "REEEALLLYYY...." Then smirked and said "well what does he do for a real job?" And I calmly said "That is his job. He's doing great." And he said "so wow, how fun to work once a week... heh hee (as if he invented that comeback) And then his face turned a puzzled smirk "So what are you guys like one of those churches that doesn't believe in evolution or what?" And I don't know if he intentionally shoved the sucking tool and both his hands into my mouth at the EXACT moment I was supposed to answer, but he did so there I sit, mouth jammed, tooth in repair, tonsils exposed while I realize this is the EXACT moment I was supposed to be on my A game to defend the gospel.

But I couldn't speak.

So I nodded and managed a pitiful "mmm huh" as he launched into a million reasons why science is so magnificent, so wonderful, so real and important. He launched into the fact that science should be the REASON people see God in the world and that science is the key to getting any kind of decent paying job anywhere from AMGEN to Northrop.

He then told me all about his "fundamentalist born-again-er ski buddy" whom he ejoys a good debate with into the wee hours of the morning all about why evidence of evolution is easily found on the Galapagos Islands.

Then my original credentials kicked into his memory and he recalled I'd graduated from LMU and made sure to educate me on how the Jesuits are the ones that invented doing acts of service to get their loved ones into heaven. He made sure he called Catholics "those Christians" and that there was no difference between the two denominations until Martin Luther came along.... and oh by the way he was raised an atheist... was I raised Catholic?
"Cishen" I slobber.
"Christian, Catholic, it's all the same worship of Father, Son Holy Ghost which I've NEVER understood I mean whoooooo is there like a ghost or a being like watching me as I go the the restroom or what? Heh heh" (Tools have not moved from my mouth).

I grunt a bit and he removes the tools briefly. "Well, Christian's don't pray to the Saints or to Mary. That's the main difference."
"Oh sure, okay. Anyways..." (Tools re-inserted)

The repair to my tooth is complete and although he removes all tools, he hasn't paused in his tirade/science lesson and the wonders of neutrons and free radicals (which by the way is really INTERESTING to me- a mere close-minded-bound for unsuccess in any "good paying career field" science-hating born-againer...)

At this point, my chance to defend the gospel by explaining that although I don't believe in evolution (with an absence of God as creator) I do in fact believe that science exists and our universe is so big and majestic that it in fact points me back to the awe and appreciation for a creator behind every working proton and neutron.... has long passed.

I've missed the chance for a round table discussion about the Trinity, and I've definitely missed the chance to allow my limited knowledge about how Constantine and Martin Luther were important parts of how people practice Christianity "evolved" but what ever really always mattered was The Gospel.

I missed all that. Because I was sitting in a chair, mouth wide open, tools in place IN MY MOUTH!!

I thought to myself over and over- this isn't fair. Not fair! I have things I seriously could say with confidence here and there- I know the answer to that one too!

And then I thought of something. He didn't want to hear what I had to say. He wanted to tell me what he had to say. He wanted to make sure I knew why I was wrong (because I am a Christian) and why therefore all creation-believeing Christians are idiots.

He rattled off a 1/2 a dozen people in his life I am sure probably witnessed to him because he told me all about how they told him about the Bible and church --he just didn't seem to like things like "Creation" and "Jesus" and "The Holy Spirit". And then he made sure to mention about how Bush defended Creation vs. evolution and said "ha! what does he know? He was an alcoholic anyways."

I picked up a small mirror and looked at my newly repaired and polished perfect set of chompers. "Gorgeous work as always." I told him.
And for the first time he didn't shove a tool in my mouth before I could finish my sentence.

I will go back to him as long as I can because he is amazing at what he does, and I have great teeth to show for it. And I know that God allows my mouth to be blessed and cared for through the work of my dentist's hands.

And although it took over 20 years for us to ever have a conversation about church and God at least he can add it to my list of credentials up for discussion every time I go back into that chair.

And one day maybe he'll take a tool out of my mouth if he's truly interested in my answer.

Well, I'll be praying for the "Holy Ghost" to work on his heart for sure! ;)