Awakening

I woke up in a foul mood for several reasons this morning and tried my best to shake it off by putting into practice some of the things our small group has been discussing on Tuesday nights- how focusing on the Gospel changes your perspective in even the mundane.

It kind of worked, although the black cloud turned mostly then to gray...

Nonetheless I got an earlier start than usual and decided to take advantage of the extra time by grabbing my morning latte and then window shopping on Main street for a bit and I found myself memorized by the window display for the store "Paris 1900". I never have quite figured out what they sell in there because it's always closed but today there were three antique bridal gowns perfectly positioned as if it had transported itself directly from a real-life bridal shop storefront in the 1920's. The gowns in the window were something I have never seen before outside of old movies and I became enthralled examining the delicate detail of the lace and ruffles, daring to imagine what it would look like on. And then something snapped me out of my trance and I realized I was slightly embarrassed should any passer-by be observant enough to care that I was (gasp) looking at wedding dresses!
I mean what if they like THINK that I like WANT to like "get married" or something?? THE HORROR!!!!

And then I sipped again on my latte, breathed in, and smiled at my idiotic concern. You see, I wasn't really concerned about what strangers may conclude about the girl gazing at the vintage wedding dresses in the window, I was concerned at what I would think. I was concerned about what it would do to me, and it's why I have not allowed myself to stop and gaze into the window of a wedding dress shop or a jewelry store since 2002.

I can remember that day- the very day I told myself to stop it. It was November of 2002 and we were in Vegas for my brother's birthday. I had a regular habit of perusing the magazine racks and opening a "Modern Bride" Magazine just to see. I'd done this since I was just out of High school and that day- that very day I was walking inside the shopping area of the Venetian of all places and saw a gown in the window and started to veer when I stopped in my tracks, and told myself never ever to do that again because I was not to be "that girl." And I've stuck to my guns.

Until today.

But the funny thing is, that until today I didn't know I had taken myself so seriously. I mean, who cares about me anyways? Some regular girl looking in a dress shop window, so what? I know why I made myself abstain from dreaming about all things wedding for so long, and it was because I knew that I was easily distracted by it's importance for my life. Back then, although I wanted to get married someday, I felt like it was impossible and light years away, and I was terrified of becoming desperate in the wait. So I shut it off.

Maybe that was a good thing for me (although a bit drastic). But today, looking in the window, I found myself waking up to the enjoyment of realizing that I actually have a preference or a style in that area- an area that yes, is still a someday but wow, I never did grow desperate in the wait after all, and in fact I realize that as attractive as all the things surrounding weddings are, they only last a few hours and then life takes over, so the wedding is something to look forward to, but not all.

So maybe I'll go ahead and stop and peer in the next window if I want to, and other times maybe I'll just walk right on by without a second thought. But I'm not going to care anymore if people think it's because I want to get married ... I'm going to care if I want to, and then I'm finally gonna deal with it.

Because it's time to be honest with myself, and that is scary, but so much more free.

"Just Stop it"

This post came from Beth Moore today, and it's why I have always appreciated the direct-ness of her teaching. Read it with a Texan Drawl for emphasis, and then when it comes to our own sin, let's get serious and stop it!

Enjoy the full post here.

Sometimes we just need to STOP IT. Just plain stop it. We don't need to keep praying over it. We don't need to keep deliberating it. We don't need one last shot at it. We don't need five more years of counseling over it. We flat need to stop it. Like, for instance,

*If we're married and we're flirting with somebody at work (calling it harmless), we need to stop it.
*And, Lord have mercy, if any of us are having affairs, we need to stop it NOW. With every second that goes by, the consequences are mounting. Please do not let the enemy trick you into thinking you're getting away with it. You're not. Don't rationalize it. Don't tell me what a jerk your husband is and how you're finally in love for the first time. Get some fear of God and stop it.
*If we're being a brat about something, we need to stop it.
*If we're still punishing somebody for what they did to us, we need to stop it. Enough is enough. Let God deal with them.
*If we're trying to do God's job with somebody, we need to stop it.

No Scripture says it more succinctly and exactly than Isaiah 1:16b: "Stop doing wrong." Hear the voice of God say, "I've warned you and warned you and warned you. STOP IT."

I say this as a woman to whom sometimes a brief, "STOP IT NOW!" works better than anything. I love you so much and I want all of us to live in the full blessing of God that only obedience can invite. His will is for us, Siestas. Go with God on this or things are going to get really ugly. Take the warning and stop.

HT: The LPM Blog/ Beth Moore

For all the Dudes I ever knew that played guitar...

This is for you!
And no, I am not ashamed that I was one of those girls at that camp who was secretly crushing while pretending not to listen.