Eating Humble Pie

Philippians 2:3-4 (ESV)

3Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. 4Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.


It's been rough. Honestly. I think I vaguely remember a few months back or maybe even less than that- a prayer I had after discovering God's faithfulness that included something like "show me what you want of me" or "let me be a servant" etc. etc. And then fast-forward to last week where my perspectives all came tumbling down. I looked around and had suddenly lost interest in my career. Had lost hope in my own business' "success" and had lost vision for who I was supposed to grow up to be. Then I looked closer and realized I didn't really care, but the not caring concerned me so I was incredibly mournful.

Then I looked around and realized that I am accountable to people for my decisions, attitude, perspectives, and decisions. New people. Special people. Lovely people. I realized that with that knowledge of accountability, I started to grow uncomfortable in my own skin, and doubts in my worthiness of any body's time or respect surfaced from a place It thought I killed and buried way back in my teens.

And then I looked closer at Christ's example of Humility, and realized how far I am from all that He is. Count others as better than yourself? In theory, no problem. I can easily think you are smarter and more wonderful than I am. In reality, I am too busy being all concerned with my SELF that I can't even put any kind of importance on anyone else. Then I realize this kind of self-loathing is also stinkin' selfish. Man!

That humble pie isn't going down so sweetly anymore.

The above verse just "so happens" to be our memory verse for this week in our small group. Is it ironic that it is seriously giving me the MOST trouble so far? When I told-ahem "asked" God to show me what He wanted, did I remotely expect to be shown how incredibly SELFISH I became in all that confidence of who I thought I was?

Scott & Brian asked for us to pray for their humility as our leaders. Um... Okay, but now I suddenly want to hoard all the pie to myself because I can't imagine wanting to share in this kind of humility with anyone. It's got no cherry, no sweet, and no flaky crust.