Post-It Thoughts from Addy's birth

When my friend Lara asked me to consider photographing her newborn "right as she comes out" I got a little queasy. I have never been good around blood, hospitals, accidents, cuts, needles, scabs, scars....

I've "seen" birth on video before- first in 7th grade Health class, and then recently while watching the National Geographic Series , but to be honest, the thought of it happening "live" and in person was a little um... gross.

Then I saw JUNO a few days later and by the end of it I'd made a decision to suck it up. I emailed Lara the next day and explained how a silly movie had changed my mind, went to buy new batteries for my camera, packed my purse with a book and my ipod, and developed an annoying habit of waking up every night at 3am to check my phone (just in case I'd slept through the call- yeah right like that would ever happen...)

Last night the call finally came. During the one solid hour where I'd put down my phone and forgotten about checking it. When I got a sinking feeling at dinner that I should check the phone- I discovered I'd missed several calls- THE calls, and a text that said "Going to hospital" from Scott, Lara's husband.

When I walked into the room, Lara was smiling, and Scott was calm. It hit me that very soon, there would be a brand new baby in this room- someone we'd all been anxious to meet for 9 months, and nothing was scary anymore.

At 11:51pm, baby Addison was here, and I'd actually witnessed the entire thing. The "gross" thing my stomach had turned over wasn't gross at all... in fact, it was crazy-cool, and I'll confess, a little hard to understand how it all "worked out".

On my drive home the tears started to flow. I'd been in total shock until I hit the 10west and then the emotions just flooded me- emotions I almost felt funny for having since I'd only been there really as a bystander with a camera . . . and somehow got lucky enough to experience such an intimate thing with this family. Yowza.

My favorite parts (all G-Rated) were as follows:

-The sound of Lara and Scott "awwwing" in unison when the baby first came out. I can't describe how incredible that sound was, but I'll never forget it. No picture I took will have captured that.
-Watching Addison's color turn bright pink instantly when she'd finally gotten a good breath in.
-Her baby cleft chin
-The way she blinked her eyes because of the bright, bright world she was adjusting to.
-Realizing how amazing the body works, and how un-gross it really is after all.

The Diving Bell and The Butterfly

After this movie won the Globe for Best Foreign film, I knew I wanted to see it in the theatre before it was gone. I also knew that going in, it wasn't going to be the lightest movie out there.

If you are curious in the least, then stop reading and go see it. The cinematography, poetic narrative, and visual elements of this film is well worth the $.

Now for a "spoiler":

The film does an incredible job of showing viewers exactly what someone who is completely paralyzed - goes through. Their perspective, mental state, the way others interact with them, the idea that even their pride can't keep them from being completely reliant on strangers for every single thing... that was what made the film so uncomfortable. And good.

I walked away thinking that it would be the kind of film that would sit with me, and perhaps change my perspective on- something... but it didn't really. I still don't EVER want to experience nor have a loved one experience what he did- even with a best-seller, and a film made about his life. In fact, it instead allowed me to hold fast to several perspectives I already have- the one where God is the center of everything, and the one where I can't ever take my loved ones for granted.

To me, this film was so absent of God in this man's life, that it became all about who God is in mine. I have no idea how he survived any of his days without finding faith, and that is where I pitied him the most. He had so many people who adored him. So many women. But the one woman he chose was the one who didn't give him a single second of her time after his accident. That to me, was the most tragic. What an obvious lesson this man had to learn. And he somehow missed it... after all of that.

I pray to God I never miss it the way he did.