Running on Empty

So these past 3 weeks or so have been a constant battle of wits, will, determination, patience, and everything in between. I have not come up for "air" for days and even now sit "at work" but trying to allow my mind to stop focusing, stop thinking, stop working briefly.

The problem is that in preparing to go on vacation, deadlines loom closer, duties need tying up, and responsibilities need to be turned over to someone else. Europeans wonder why Americans work so much . . . I am starting to understand my own country's mentality. It's easier to just "stay here" than go.

I am still looking forward to my trip, but my mind is saturated 24-7 with thoughts about completing that task list at the production office during the day, and constantly mulling over the tiny edits and fixes that the wedding video I am cutting at night demands.

My Dad advised me long ago to keep track of my hours that I spend editing at home- but if I did that, I think I'd probably go into shock so I haven't bothered to keep tabs. I love what I do, but it's a frustrating thing to bring my specific style into people's personal wedding videos- because where I celebrate the angle and composition of the entire film, they only see that "Grandma's" face wasn't in the first shot long enough. Where I try to introduce eclectic music and flee desperately from pop culture, they only hear the fact they don't know the tune by heart, and thus I end up re-cutting a "Ritchie-inspired" euro-esque montage into a long boring shot of Grandma sitting sadly to the drone of Hoobastank.

Excuse my slight exaggerations -- I am running on very little sleep and lack of protein. I know this because I woke up grumpy at the light piercing through my window and craving raw meat. And I am not PMS-ing.

For those of you who anger at the "grumpy Chrissie." Sorry I didn't warn you earlier in this post. But you'll be happy to know, in all my stress I haven't shed one tear, nor terribly insulted too many people -- yet . . .

Hey Vedders, ya ready for me??